"THE BEGINNING" ~ Daily reflections

THE BEGINNING A guardian angel o'er his life presiding, Doubling his pleasures, and his cares dividing. Samuel Rogers, Human Life It was just past midnight on December 24, 1983. The Midwest was shivering through a record-breaking cold spell, complete with gale- force winds and frozen water pipes. And although our suburban Chicago household was filled with the snug sounds of a family at rest, I couldn't be a part of them, not until our 21-year-old son pulled into the driveway. At the moment, Tim and his two room-mates were driving home for Christmas, their first trip back since they had moved east last May. "Don't worry, Mom," Tim had reassured me over the phone last night. "We're going to leave before dawn tomorrow and drive straight through. We'll be fine!" Kids. They do insane things. Under normal circumstances, I figured, a Connecticut-to- Illinois trek ought to take about eighteen hours. But the weather had turned so dangerously cold that radio reports warned against venturing outdoors, even for a few moments. And we had heard nothing from the travelers. Distressed, I pictured them on a desolate road. What if they ran into car problems or lost their way? And if they had been delayed, why hadn't Tim phoned? Restlessly I paced, and prayed in the familiar shorthand all mothers know: "God, send someone to help them." By now, as I later learned, the trio had stopped briefly in Fort Wayne, Indiana, to deposit Don at his family home. Common sense suggested that Tim and Jim stay the rest of the night, and resume their trek in the morning. But when does common sense prevail with invincible young adults? There were only four driving hours left to reach home. And although it was the coldest night in Midwest history, and the snowy highways were deserted, the two had started out again. They had been traveling for only a few miles on a rural access road to the Indiana tollway, when they noticed that the car's engine seemed sluggish, lurching erratically and dying to ten or fifteen miles per hour. Tim glanced uneasily at Jim. "Do not--" the radio announcer intoned, "repeat--do not--venture outside tonight, friends. There's a record windchill of eighty below zero, which means that exposed skin will freeze in less than a minute." The car surged suddenly, then coughed and slowed again. "Tim," Jim spoke into the darkness. "We're not going to stall here, are we?" "We can't," Tim answered grimly, as he pumped the accelerator. "We'd die for sure." But instead of picking up speed, the engine sputtered, chugging and slowing again. About a mile later, at the top of a small incline, the car crawled to a frozen stop. Horrified, Tim and Jim looked at each other in the darkened interior. They could see across the fields in every direction but, incredibly, theirs was the only vehicle in view. For the first time, they faced the fact that they were in enormous danger. There was no traffic, no refuge ahead, not even a farmhouse light blinking in the distance. It was as if they had landed on an alien and snow-covered planet. And the appalling, unbelievable cold. Never in Tim's life had he experienced anything so intense. They couldn't run for help; he knew that now for sure. He and Jim were young and strong, but even if shelter was only a short distance away, they couldn't survive. The temperature would kill them in a matter of minutes. "Someone will come along soon," Jim muttered, looking in every direction. "They're bound to." "I don't think so," Tim said. "You heard the radio. Everyone in the world is inside tonight---except us." "Then what are we going to do?" "I don't know." Tim tried starting the engine again, but the ignition key clicked hopelessly in the silence. Bone-chilling cold had penetrated the car's interior, and his feet were already growing numb. Well, God, he prayed, echoing my own distant plea, You're the only one who can help us now. It seemed impossible to stay awake much longer... Then, as if they had already slipped into a dream, they saw headlights flashing at the car's left rear. But that was impossible. For they had seen no twin pinpricks of light in the distance, no hopeful approach. Where had the vehicle come from? Had they already died? But no. For, miraculously, someone was knocking on the driver's side window. "Need to be pulled?" In disbelief, they heard the muffled shout. But it was true. Their rescuer was driving a tow truck. "Yes, oh yes, thanks!" Quickly, the two conferred as the driver, saying nothing more, drove around to the front of the car and attached chains. If there were no garages open at this hour, they would ask him to take them back to Don's house, where they could spend the rest of the night. Swathed almost completely in a furry parka, hood and a scarf up to his eyes, the driver nodded at their request, but said nothing more. He was calm, they noted as he climbed into his truck, seemingly unconcerned about the life- threatening circumstances in which he had found them. Strange that he's not curious about us, Tim mused, and isn't even explaining where he came from, or how he managed to approach without our seeing him... And had there been lettering on the side of the truck? Tim hadn't noticed any. He's going to give us a big bill, on a night like this... I'll have to borrow some money from Don or his dad... But Tim was exhausted from the ordeal, and gradually, as he leaned against the seat, his thoughts slipped away. They passed two locked service stations, stopped to alert Don from a pay phone, and were soon being towed back through the familiar Fort Wayne neighborhood. Hushed, Christmas lights long since extinguished and families asleep, Don's still seemed the most welcoming street they had ever been on. The driver maneuvered carefully around the cul- de-sac, and pulled up in front of Don's house. Numb with cold, Tim and Jim raced to the side door where Don was waiting, then tumbled into the blessedly warm kitchen, safe at last. Don slammed the door against the icy blast. "Hey, what happened?" he began, but Tim interrupted. "The tow truck driver, Don. I have to pay him, and I need to borrow..." "Wait a minute," Don frowned, looking past his friends through the window. "I don't see any tow truck out there." Tim and Jim turned around. There, parked alone at the curb was Tim's car. There had been no sound in the crystal-clear night of its release from the chains, no door slam, no chug of an engine pulling away. There had been no bill for Tim to pay, no receipt to sign, no farewell or "thank you" or "Merry Christmas..." Stunned, Tim raced back down the driveway to the curb, but there were no taillights disappearing in the distance, no engine noise echoing through the silent streets, nothing at all to mark the tow truck's presence. Then Tim saw the tire tracks traced in the wind-blown snowdrifts. But there was only one set of marks ringing the cul-de-sac curve. And they belonged to Tim's car. When Christmas carols fill the air, and our worries regress in a temporary whirl of holiday nostalgia, everyone believes in angels. But it's harder to accept the likelihood that the "multitude of heavenly host" on that long-ago Bethlehem hillside has relevance in our lives too, that God's promise to send his angels to protect and rescue each of His children is a faithful pact, continuing for all eternity, throughout every season of the year. Angels don't submit to litmus tests, testify in court or slide under a microscope for examination. Thus, their existence cannot be "proved" by the guidelines we humans usually use. To know one, perhaps, requires a willingness to suspend judgment, to open ourselves to possibilities we've only dreamed about. "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched," Helen Keller said. "They must be felt with the heart." Was it an angel? Our family will never know for sure. But on Christmas Eve, l983, I heard the whisper of wings as a tow truck driver answered a heavenly summons, and brought our son safely home.